crossbowsandwalkers:

bonapartist:

so i was looking up stuff about birth control throughout history and

image

The fucking caption on the picture is the funniest part though

The villain still pursues her

haleybeaverphotography:

Banana Spider

Check me out of Facebook right here.

I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach. I haven’t eaten a whole lot since yesterday because food just doesn’t taste good anymore. Part of me is missing and I don’t feel whole. I can’t do anything without being reminded of him. I’m forced to drive past his house all of the time because we live in the same neighborhood. I drive past his place of work nearly every other day. I can’t go through Netflix without seeing movies and shows that we would watch together or seeing things that we would have watched for date night. I can’t even watch a Nicolas Cage movie because we would joke about him all of the time.If a Mazda drives by, it’s like another punch to the stomach.

I cried myself to sleep and I probably will tonight too. I’ve cried for nearly a day and a half straight. I’m missing my partner in crime. I’m not looking forward to spending nights and weekends on my own like I used to.  

allthebeautifulthings9828:

I smell it in the air. It’s coming.

image

Halloween season.

I really don’t feel like getting out of bed today. I just don’t feel good but I have so much to do.

fadeintocase:

rambling-insanity:

fadeintocase:

I don’t understand how people can shower in like five minutes I mean I can go as fast as I can I still have to shampoo my hair and condition my hair and scrub myself and shave and cut myself shaving and use the blood in my summoning of the dark lord then travel to another dimension to ward off my enemies then come back and dry off how do you do that in five minutes

2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner

FUCK

OF COURSE

it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie

dirty confession: i'm a teacher and my ex had a teacher fantasy so i'd talk math formulas before we did the do and after a while I was curious so i said the quadratic formula in public and he automatically got a boner and we broke up because i thought it was really funny and wouldn't stop doing it
Anonymous

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

stability:

when my kids ask where babies come from im just gonna show them this gif

image

fasterfood:

u wake up on christmas morning and go downstairs, full of excitement. somebody is stealing all of your christmas presents. it is jesus. “its my birthday, not yours” he hisses menacingly, then runs away with all your gifts in his arms

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